Festival season is almost here – in some states, it’s already arrived. After donning your gum boots, picking out your threads and settling on who to see, spare a thought for your bathroom break. Everybody has to go, it’s an inevitability of party season and one we cannot control – and when we try, the results aren’t great for anybody nearby.
The portable loo, the mobile dunny, the long drop, the plastic paradise – call it what you like, but it will smell the same at the end of 12 hour day with over a million people passing through. Before that happens, know your toilet etiquette to minimise those indignant knocks on the door and groan of, I need to go…
Don’t Dally
If you’re sitting on the pot, trawling through Facebook and spending more time with your smartphone than your personal hygiene, expect to face a few angry expressions when you finally finish up. You may have a text to send, a pic to upload or status updates to catch-up on, but the portable loo isn’t the place to do it.
Spare a Square
Do you monopolise the toilet paper at home? If you know your paper habits are a touch more detailed than the average person, pack your own toilet paper in the form of travel tissues to supplement the existing supply. While we’re on the subject of ply use, don’t forget to actually flush the toilet paper DOWN the chute – finding used refuse on the floor isn’t pleasant for anybody. You may have to visit again later.
Give Way
Letting folk go first can be more than polite, especially if they’re a) busting b) ill c) about to reprocess their third Dagwood dog by the express tunnel. Evidently, you’ll need to assess on a case by case basis, but one good turn can lead to an appreciative new friend. You never know, they may buy you a drink to go through the sweet tunes of summer or varnish you with heartfelt thanks.
Check Your Aim
This one is for the guys. Being drunk is fun. Being drunk at a music festival can be awesome. Being drunk and trying to hit small target in a confined space can feel impossible – if you’re not confident in your range, sit down. No one’s watching, no one will judge you. It’s okay.
Be Considerate
Think about the people coming in after you. Would you want to see, step-in, smell or encounter a room resembling the one you’re thinking about leaving behind? Probably not.