It was the best of times; it was the worst of times, for in Brisbane it was festival season.
In the following tale you’ll come to learn that portable toilet hire exists for a reason.
Estimate and hire the correct number of portable toilets
‘Martin,’ yelled the boss man. ‘You’re in charge of booking stuff.
‘Beer and pies and dunnies. Make sure they’re not too rough.’
‘So don’t forget the toilet hire and ratio of sheilas to each bloke,
Don’t get it wrong and stuff things up or this festival will be a joke.’
For every 500 who’ll be drinking booze, the lads need eight urinals and three toilets for the night,
The ladies need at least 13, lest the queues become a fright.
Don’t get caught short
Time it passes quickly and the festival’s two days hence.
Martin had the loos lined up along the fence.
‘Martin,’ drawled blonde Sally from HR,
‘Where are all the toilets, I can only count 12 so far!’
Martin turned pale and began to sweat; there was a wobble to his chin,
‘I’ve only gone and stuffed things up and not sent the order in.
‘The loos that you are looking at belong to the construction crew.
Once they leave tomorrow, 12 loos become just two.’
‘The festival’s tomorrow night, we’re really in quite deep,
Travelling without a paddle up that proverbial creek.’
The wine and beer flowed all night, kebabs ran out the door.
The queue to use the dunnies were really quite a bore.
The press they had a field day, the bum puns flew thick and fast.
Martin’s job is history and the company won’t last.
Who wants to attend a festival and queue five hours for a wee?
Where drunken chicks, and every bloke, urinate on every tree.
And no one will soon forget that bloke selling vindaloo,
Festivals are not much fun when 500 need to poo.
Don’t leave your portable toilet hire for a final afterthought,
Or you’ll become like Martin and totally be caught short.
Need help calculating how many portable toilets to hire?
And there it is, the terrible tale of portable toilet hire woe,
So whip out your calculator when you put on your party, festival or show.
If you need help to work things out just, give Dinkum Dunnies
a shout,
They’re super nice and know their stuff, they’ll be sure to help you out
Don’t estimate your numbers wrong, just give them a quick bell
And they can help to save you, from portable toilet hire hell.